The Cat That Got The Cream

Ever scrolled through your @instagram page and realised to the outside world aka your followers, it looks like all you do is rave and take selfies in the gym? 

Well, the @mandemvfood lads were having a ‘digital strategy’ meeting, corporate jargon for; how many times a day should we post pictures on #Instagram 

Whilst checking our ‘engagement analytics’ basically how many people have liked our pictures at different times of the day, we realised that if you haven’t been able to tell from our page so far ( @mandemvfood ) we are carnivores with sweet tooths! We eat a lot of #burgers, #steaks, #turkishfood, #friedchicken and #desserts…

Now, #MDVF do not want to be stereotyped as only reviewing the cuisines mentioned above, we needed to get out there eat other types of food. So we got the props department to build a spin the wheel thingy like the one on #xfactor  and spun the wheel. What did we end up eating?

Pizza! A few of our followers have mentioned that @pizzaeast in trendy #shoreditch opposite #boxpark serves up a terrific pizza, so of course the #mandem had to find out if this was true or not.

FOOD: We all sat at the table and picked up our menus… The silence was real! No one had a clue what the pizza toppings were. Man had to get out phones to google each ingredient. It turns out most of the ingredients we didn’t know were just different varieties of ham. If you’re not a pork eater then maybe coming here for pizza isn’t the best choice for you.


For starters we ordered the meatballs and of course some garlic bread. Like who has pizza without garlic bread? We tucked into the meatballs first which came as a 3 and were on the large side. They were smothered in a tomato sauce and topped with a little melted cheese which added to the flavour. They were a decent start to our meal.


As the pizzas were individual servings the man dem have given their own accounts of the different pizza ordered.

Man Dem 1: I opted for the salami, tomato, mozzarella & chilli flakes pizza. When it came I was like “yea this looks alright” I tucked in straight away, it was only after the 3rd bite when the fire of the chilli flakes kicked in. I’ve never drank so much water in such a short space of time in my life. Every bite I took needed a glass of water, the pizza was spicy! Somehow I managed to finish the pizza and it was filling. Was it the best pizza i’ve ever tasted? No, but it wasn’t bad either. For me it missed the wow factor which I was expecting after hearing such positive comments about Pizza East. 


Man Dem 2: After much deliberation over the menu I still didn’t know what most of the ingredients were so i played it safe and stuck to choosing ingredients I knew. I ordered the  ‘spicy sausage, mozzarella, broccoli and cream’ pizza. But erm wait a minute… “cream”… wha ya mean “cream”? Cue the waiter… “can you explain this pizza to me please bruv?!” Yes it was cream, as in cream you pour over your dessert or put in your coffee and that was in place of the usual tomato base! Hold on, I am supposed to be playing it safe here… “yeah change it for a tomato base please bruv!!” #phew


I was dubious about the broccoli as a pizza topping and was in two minds about whether to take it off the order, even asking for it to be removed but changing my mind last minute instructing the waiter to leave it on. I thought I might as well try to keep some originality of this pizza given that I had already changed the base. MISTAKE!!! If you are not that adventurous like me, trust your instincts. Broccoli on pizza does not go according to my taste buds! Other than the broccoli I found the pizza to be quite tasty. However overall the pizza was nothing special, average! It can’t touch #pizzaexpress for taste and dare i say it even #dominos is better!! #gulp

The dessert, now that’s a different story! As mentioned earlier we love everything sweet! Being one of the more sweet toothed Man Dem in the group I had to at look at the dessert menu! Two items jumped out at me… the ‘cinnamon doughnuts’ and the ‘apple & blackberry crostata with mascarpone gelato’ aka apple & blackberry lattice pie with mascarpone ice cream. Man had to have the pie and the rest of the mandem succumbed to the pressure  and also ordered doughnuts for the table.


The crostata was delightful! Made with light flaky pastry which had a crunchy sugar layer under the base of it ( nice touch #pizzaeast ) and proper chunks of apple with whole blackberries rather than the mashed up berry mess you would usually get on this flavour of pie. Excellently flavoured… sweet but not sickly sweet with an undertone of that fruity tang that is always nice in a fruit pie and then sparingly dusted with icing sugar. The gelato was smooth and creamy tasting like an ice cream version of a cheesecake topping with a hint of vanilla flavour. A very nice dessert! Compliments to the chef on that one!


The flavour of the cinnamon doughnuts was just right. However they were extremely light and fluffy making them too airy. So much so that once you bit into one you came across an air pocket where you would be expecting to bite into more dough. The chocolate dipping sauce complimented the doughnuts well.


Man Dem 3: So… I opted for the Veal meatball pizza, like Man Dem’s 2 pizza this also had a cream base. Rather than run from the cream like Man Dem 2 did just because it was a bit different, I jumped in studs first with a two footed tackle and took everything with me, cream base and all. 

The toppings away from the veal were basic, a cured ham, a mix of herbs and generous portions of what looked like cooked Parma ham, I was informed that is was actually prosciutto. Quite simply this pizza worked! Surprisingly the flavours complimented each other. I would have loved to say ‘perfectly’ but for my taste the ham, or prosciutto was a little too salty. However, for the price, could I have gotten better from Papa Johns? Hmmmmm, well that was the discussion we were having while waiting for one of the man dems drink which failed to appear, which leads us on to the service.


SERVICE: Those of us that were on time were swiftly ushered to our seat, however, the late arrival had a little trouble actually speaking to someone to find out where the Man Dem’s table was situated. Was that because they were busy? Who knows! But we will say the service was of an acceptable standard, despite our waiter coming across like a rabbit caught in headlights, confusion over drinks was the main thing. Also maybe we are just getting old but the volume of the music at times was a little overbearing but by the same token made for a nice vibe and party atmosphere.


OVERALL: If you are into the trendy scene Pizza East is the spot, it definitely felt like a place to be seen. This is an ideal setting for a group of friends to dine before hitting the local bars, in fact the music whilst eating puts you in the party mood.

However, if you are not trying to keep up with the trendies and just fancy a good ole pizza you can find tastier pizzas elsewhere even takeaway!

3 mandems out of 6


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